So after our really bad day Friday at the speech therapists office, which you can read about in my Letters of Intent, I knew we've hit the point where things have taken a bad turn for the worst with Avery.
Saturday was a pretty decent day. We did some school shopping for my older boys and ordered pizza for dinner and ate in front of the TV downstairs (a big treat for Avery!).
This morning we woke up and after a little while we decided it was way past time for Avery to get a haircut. We've been putting the haircut off far to long because it is typical not a good experience with Avery. We called Avery upstairs and told him it was time for a haircut. We immediately were met with "no mama. no haircut. no mama" and crying. I was trying desperately to get him to climb into the chair himself so my hubby could use the clippers on him (it's typically a whole lot easier to just buzz him, then take him somewhere and deal with the freak out.) I wanted him to do it himself and for it to be on his own terms. After a while it became apparent that was not going to happen. At that point my husband picked him up and placed him in the chair. He continued to buzz his head while Avery completely broke down. Tears, screaming, shaking, etc. I kept trying to reassure him that nothing was hurting him and he was fine. After a while I just had to leave the room because he was just completely unconsolable.
My husband finished his haircut with the crying, screaming, shaking continuing to take place. After the haircut I got a bubble bath ready for him and tried to coax him into the tub. He was still completely inconsolable and crying and shaking. I placed him in the tub and started pouring the warm water over his body with my hands. A few min later my husband came in and ended up having to bath a completely stiff, screaming, crying, statue of my son to get all the loose hair off of him.
When the bath was done I wrapped Avery in a towel and carried him (still screaming) to his room. I sat down on the floor and started "shhh'ing" him and rocking him. He moved himself into a position as if I was rocking a baby (lying across my lap in my arms) and I rocked him. As I rocked him his screaming turned to these moaning type sounds. Those lasted a few minutes and then it was completely silent. I looked at Avery and he was laying in my arms with this complete blank stare on his face. He wasn't moving, he wasn't talking. He was just laying there. I started talking to him and asking questions "are you ready to get dressed now?" and got absolutely no response from him. Just stayed in that blank stare into space. I asked "do you want to go to the park and swing?" Still no response and a blank stare. He wasn't looking at me, wasn't making eye contact. Just staring into space.
As I sat there rocking him still all I could think was "this is what rocking a baby who has had a seizure must feel like." In that moment I broke down. Tears started to flow and I just looked at Avery and said "mama loves you, you know that?" This typically would have gotten a "I wud ew moe" (I love you more) from him. Instead all I got was a stare. My husband walked into Avery's bedroom and I just looked at him and said "he's not responding to anything, he's not making any eye contact with me either." My husband bent down and kissed Avery on the forehead and said "hey buddy, look at me." and got nothing. I started sobbing again and my husband took Avery from me and started rocking him and talking to him. I went in my room and cried. It took a few more minutes and then I heard Avery start giggling slowly. I got in the shower and got dressed. My husband got Avery dressed and they went downstairs.
Avery spent the rest of the evening by himself again only coming out to eat. He would talk to us, but still no eye contact. Tonight after putting him to sleep my husband came downstairs and said to me "he's still very quiet. It's so unusual."
What in the world has happened in the last two months that has made Avery regress so much?! Why is he shutting down so completely and staying shut down for the entire day afterwards? What is going on? Could it really just be that it's summertime and he's out of his routine? Could it be that he's not getting the consistant therapy he gets while school is in session? I mean his speech therapy has been so sporadic due to vacations and stuff and he hasn't gotten any OT this summer. But he only gets OT once a month at school.
I don't know what has been going on but I do know that first thing tomorrow I am calling an OT and getting him in to be seen. I can't handle seeing him like this anymore. He was making such progress and strides and to see him regress so horribly is killing me. Not to mention today scared me to death.
Please check out this important Blog Entry! Click HERE to read about something near and dear to my heart!