This morning I got the boys ready for school and as I was getting Avery ready for school he whined a little bit, but there were no tears! He got his backpack on without issue, got in the car without issue, and even told me "Avery's school" when we dropped the older boys off and I turned to him and said "now where are we going?". We got to his school and he climbed out of the car without any crying and after his teacher came out and I went to leave he made me hold his hand for the count of "10" and then I said my goodbye's and I left. Again with no tears! We're making progress!
As we were standing at the wall waiting for Avery's teacher I watched as some of the other parents whose children are more severe then Avery dropped their children off. I watched as they pulled up to the curb, had an "aide" come get their kid out of the car and watched as they peeled wheels out of the parking lot, seeming to not be able to get away fast enough. In that minute I thought to myself "why can't I do that?"
It really had me thinking about the therapist who had asked me if I "favored" Avery over my other boys. When dropped the other boys off at school, I do exactly as those other parents do. I pull up to the curb, they climb out, I said "Have a good day!" and I drive away. When I get to Avery's school I park the car and walk him to the wall. I sit at the wall with him and the aides that are there until the actual teacher comes out. It is THEN that I leave. I hold his hand for the count of "10" like he asks, I give him a kiss and tell him I'll pick him up after school and I leave.
Is this "favortism"? Am I treating him different then the other boys? Part of me says, well yes of course I am! Then the other part of me says, well yes of course you are BUT it's because he's 3! The other boys are old enough to walk up the sidewalk themselves and stand out front of the school until the bell rings.
But that doesn't explain why these other parents of children who are more severe than Avery can do like I do with the older boys. Is it because they are more severe so the parents are more "fed up" and can't wait for the break?
Or is it because I'm to protective of Avery and I'm scared that he won't be "treated" the way I want him treated while at school? I mean the aides are out front, they are more than capable of dealing with the kids till the teacher comes out. Yet I don't trust them to treat Avery the way I want him treated. I don't trust them to understand him the way I do.
Does that make me an over protective mother? Or does that make me "favor" Avery more than the other boys? Or am I no different than other moms of special needs kids?
I just don't even know anymore.
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