Monday, September 13, 2010

Some deep thoughts...

This morning I got the boys ready for school and as I was getting Avery ready for school he whined a little bit, but there were no tears!  He got his backpack on without issue, got in the car without issue, and even told me "Avery's school" when we dropped the older boys off and I turned to him and said "now where are we going?".  We got to his school and he climbed out of the car without any crying and after his teacher came out and I went to leave he made me hold his hand for the count of "10" and then I said my goodbye's and I left.  Again with no tears!  We're making progress!

As we were standing at the wall waiting for Avery's teacher I watched as some of the other parents whose children are more severe then Avery dropped their children off.  I watched as they pulled up to the curb, had an "aide" come get their kid out of the car and watched as they peeled wheels out of the parking lot, seeming to not be able to get away fast enough.  In that minute I thought to myself "why can't I do that?"

It really had me thinking about the therapist who had asked me if I "favored" Avery over my other boys.  When dropped the other boys off at school, I do exactly as those other parents do.  I pull up to the curb, they climb out, I said "Have a good day!" and I drive away.  When I get to Avery's school I park the car and walk him to the wall.  I sit at the wall with him and the aides that are there until the actual teacher comes out.  It is THEN that I leave.  I hold his hand for the count of "10" like he asks, I give him a kiss and tell him I'll pick him up after school and I leave.

Is this "favortism"?  Am I treating him different then the other boys?  Part of me says, well yes of course I am!  Then the other part of me says, well yes of course you are BUT it's because he's 3! The other boys are old enough to walk up the sidewalk themselves and stand out front of the school until the bell rings.

But that doesn't explain why these other parents of children who are more severe than Avery can do like I do with the older boys.  Is it because they are more severe so the parents are more "fed up" and can't wait for the break?

Or is it because I'm to protective of Avery and I'm scared that he won't be "treated" the way I want him treated while at school?  I mean the aides are out front, they are more than capable of dealing with the kids till the teacher comes out.  Yet I don't trust them to treat Avery the way I want him treated.  I don't trust them to understand him the way I do.

Does that make me an over protective mother?  Or does that make me "favor" Avery more than the other boys?  Or am I no different than other moms of special needs kids?

I just don't even know anymore.

Please check out this important Blog Entry! Click HERE to read about something near and dear to my heart!


MommyLovesStilettos said...

*HUGS* Don't worry about it lady. You love your kids and if you are a little more protective of Avery it's understandable.

Melissa & Malie said...

Well, when I would drop Malie off, I always walked her up to the gate, but then we had to. The aides didn't come get them or anything, plus we had to sign them in and out. But if she got clingy the aides/teacher would firmly tell me..."Time to go!" and I'd leave. Usually after a hug and kiss of course. But then, I had total trust in Mrs. M and her aides. Malie loved them and I loved them. Even the aides had degrees or where "in progress" in special education or psychology. I knew she was in great hands, so that helped. And she's super well-adjusted now and no tears! And one thing to think about is that maybe those parents are heading to work and trying not to be late...drop off and go! I remember when that was me or when I was trying to make it to school on time. Just do what's right by you and Avery. :-)

Adrienne said...

Sending you a {{{hug}}}! Avery must need you to do what you do, and you know it in your mommy heart. Every child is different. They may be differrnt ages, differrnt personalities, so we do treat them differently. To some degree, I think it's ok. Not favortism. You give Avery what he needs, and I'm sure you give the same to your other children. :)